Pass the Eyeliner

One misconception that some have about overweight women is that we've "given up" and don't care about our appearance. I recently overheard a conversation in which one person asked the other why a woman who was out of earshot would bother to put on make-up and style her hair if she's overweight. His friend's reply was that she shouldn't even bother.

It wasn't said about me, but the words still stung. It also was not the first time I've heard comments such as these.

First of all, despite what TV would have you believe, being overweight is not equivalent to being unattractive. Of course, I'm not saying it's healthy or anything like that, but what I am saying is that a lot of people are attracted to others regardless of size. Hell, I even know guys who go crazy over a girl with a little extra "meat on her bones." Same for the ladies. Some go bonkers for "big" guys.

Second, how big is too big to "look nice"? 30 lbs. overweight? 50 lbs.? 75? What about people who are engaging in other unhealthy habits like smoking? Should they toss out all their lipstick and hair gel, too? Of course not. So why do some people say such stupid things?

I'm still going to wear jewelry and eye shadow and I'm still going to straighten my hair no matter what size I am. If someone doesn't like it, well then it's going to be too bad. And even though I'd love to stoop to their level and pick apart their appearance, I'm not. It might make me feel better for just a moment, but then I'd be doing the same thing they're doing.

It's easy for me to say these things and sound like I'm stronger than I am, but the truth is I'm not. I still pause in the mirror and ask myself how I'd look if I we just a few pounds thinner. I sometimes ask myself why I just don't cut off all my hair and give up on hooking that stupid necklace clasp behind my head. The thing that keeps me going on is knowing that I'm not alone. Many people feel the same way and I guess that gives me the push I need to go on.